I had promised never to use that phrase, but everyone seems to be saying it these days. Even Newsweek featured “Man Up!” on its cover (Sept. 27), while concluding that men will have to “rethink masculinity” in order to survive in the new economy that stresses Facebook-type sharing and soft skills over brawn.
And there’s some truth to this. The incessant recession has hit men the hardest – the large majority of job loss has been among males who rely on physical strength to earn their wage. America just doesn’t build all that much anymore, apparently. Even the housing boom - which had given contractors much of their work over the past 15 years – has gone bust.
But “rethink masculinity”? I suspect that men who try to do this will be disappointed – or encouraged, perhaps – that masculinity is pretty good the way it is. Oh yes, we can rethink how our masculinity is to be expressed, but we should never seek to have it suppressed. Masculinity is a precious jewel of humanity, something that the world, frankly, would be much poorer without.
It can definitely have its excesses – brash displays that come about often when men are unsure of their masculinity or feel it is under attack. Yet when expressed as male virtue – strength, character, protector, provider, righteous warrior – masculinity has been the great energy of history. Courage, self-sacrifice, justice and truth are all expressions of masculine virtue, as are invention, innovation and idealism.
If you think you can “rethink masculinity" in some laboratory or group therapy, just look at the kiddie park, where the boys exhibit a lone warrior ethic and the girls tend to associate to communicate. The key is to harness and guide the wonderful masculine energy of boys so that they grow into men of strength and virtue – men of strong and enduring virtue. But never seek to suppress that masculine urge to rise and conquer, to build and destroy.
I have two boys, ages 10 and 5. They are both forces of nature. My mission as a father is to lead them into the truth about themselves and the world – starting with God and continuing on to mankind and all creation. They have a purpose and a place. My greatest mission – and maybe the most difficult in our somewhat feminized culture – is to teach them authentic love. Love is not merely an emotion; love is an act of the will. My two boys certainly have very strong wills, so I know that they have the capacity for great love – enough to set the world aflame and change the course of history for the better.
Rather than rethink or (worse) redefine masculinity, we fathers would do well to refine masculinity as fire refines gold to bring greater value and beauty. The gold of my sons is their souls.
