Fathers For Good

Only the Lonely - Part II

From the beginning of sacred Scripture, at the time when God is creating all things and placing mankind as the crown of creation, one fact is stated quite clearly: “It is not good for man to be alone.”

 

God himself says this, offering the first indication that there is something lacking in all he has made up to that point; there is a need in the human heart that cannot be met even by God himself. Man needs “one like himself,” taken from his own nature to be “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” someone equal yet unique, “a suitable partner.” (See Genesis, Chapter 2, verses 18-25.)

 

Indeed, there is a longing in each person’s heart for companionship, for fellowship, for love – love not just in a general or universal nature, but love of this particular person that involves a close and deep personal sharing and knowing of one another. This longing is expressed by God himself at the very creation of mankind.

 

Trouble comes, however, when trust breaks down. After hallowing Eve as his own flesh, Adam soon accuses her of leading him astray, complaining to God, “The woman whom you put here with me, she gave me the fruit from the tree, and so I ate it.”

 

Yet the need for companionship remains, even as all our relationships are subject to human weakness and sin. In the Old Testament Psalms and Proverbs, we read often how friends are wealth, children are a blessing, family is health and identity. In the New Testament, Jesus often goes off to be “alone” with his Apostles. When Jesus is truly by himself, it is when his “friends” abandon him, or when he wishes to pray in full communion with his Father.

 

We started this discussion of loneliness in my last blog, based upon a report in Newsweek magazine showing how profoundly lonely so many Americans feel – with 25% having no one in their lives with whom they can share personal matters. In the history of humanity, this is a wholly new phenomenon, that so many would not feel an intricate part of a tribe, a group, a family, a city, a people. That millions would have no one to share their lives with or pour out their hearts to.

 

Perhaps Scripture can give us some insights into the loneliness of our times and what to do about it. Here are three virtues that we will consider in Part III of this extended blog on loneliness.

 

1.       Trust.

2.       Love.

3.       Forgiveness.

 

Think how they can help in building better relationships, repairing broken relationships, and healing the wounds of loneliness that so many of us feel today.

 

Comments?

Only the Lonely - Part I

During one of her early visits to the United States, Mother Teresa of Calcutta, who was known for her work with the poorest of the poor, remarked that she saw great poverty in America amid material plenty. She was talking about the poverty of loneliness.

  

With their modern communications networks, high technology and crowded cities, Americans seemed to be more isolated and inward than the poor people of Calcutta. In the 20 or so years since Mother Teresa made that observation, the problem apparently has only gotten worse.

A recent article in Newsweek reported that between 1985 and 2004, “the number of people who said there was no one with whom they discussed important matters tripled, to 25 percent, according to Duke University researchers.” The article also noted that more Americans than ever are living alone, 25 percent of households, up from 7 percent in 1940.

Yet even those who lived with others reported loneliness, Newsweek also reported; the number of people in your life or house doesn’t matter as much as the depth and connectedness you experience with them. One good friend you can share your life with is enough to ward off loneliness.

Yet how many people lack that one friend? Even those who are connected to online social networks such as Facebook, and who constantly talk on cell phones, can be lonely. Without rich, consistent face-to-face interaction with a trusted friend, online connections can make a person feel even more lonely.

What is the source of this loneliness in America? Why in New York City, where I grew up with people pressed one atop another, is there an aching wound of loneliness? My friend called Manhattan the largest monastic community in the world – people lived in their little cells, called apartments, and came out to work, with little personal connection.

I think the source of loneliness is lack of trust. We don’t trust one another, so we don’t get to know one another in a deep, abiding manner. This lack of trust itself comes from a number of sources, which we will look at in the next blog entry. Be assured, faith in God is the key to the kind of trust that will break the loneliness cycle.

Become a Guadalupano

What was the most significant religious event in the history of the Western hemisphere? The appearance of Blessed Mother, under the title of Our Lady of Guadalupe, to Juan Diego in 1531 outside what is now Mexico City.

 

This was the theme of the first International Marian Congress on Our Lady of Guadalupe sponsored by the Knights of Columbus last week in Phoenix, Arizona.

 

After three days of scientific presentations, personal witness talks and liturgies, I am more than convinced. I am a Guadalupano.

 

The centerpiece of the Guadalupe event is the tilma (cloak) of Juan Diego, on which God imprinted the image of his Mother. After nearly five centuries, the delicate fibers of the tilma are still intact, and the image still bright and visible, though both should have faded long ago.

 

 As one presenter at the Congress said, the image on the tilma is unique in all the world. Every other time Mary has appeared, she delivered messages and performed miracles (the healings at Lourdes, the miracle of the sun at Fatima). Yet in Guadalupe, she left an image of herself – God himself has imprinted the image of the Virgin for all to see.

 

As another presenter noted, the face of the Virgin of Guadalupe is like no other face. It is called “mestiza” – mixed race – and it is really the mixture of all races, of all mankind. Every face is found in the serene and loving look of “the mother of humanity.”

 

As a reporter, writer and editor for 30 years – most of them in New York City – I have seen many events, heard many stories, and lived through a number of tragedies, including the horror of 9/11. Yet I had never before in my life experienced in heart and mind the message of the three days of the Marian Congress. The story of Our Lady of Guadalupe is one of immense, of ultimate, news value. I am amazed that everyone does not know about the image and the message.

 

Why do only 15 million pilgrims travel to Guadalupe each year? Why have I never gone myself?

Days of Our Lady of Guadalupe

Historic days will be taking place this week in Phoenix. Arizona’s capital is known for its 100-degree temperatures in the summer, but for the opening days of August this year, it will also be the site for the 127th annual Knights of Columbus Convention. In addition, the Convention will be followed by the first-ever Marian Congress devoted to Our Lady of Guadalupe and a lively Guadalupe Festival.

Some of the proceedings will be broadcast live on EWTN, Boston's Catholic TV and Canada’s Salt and Light Television Network.

At the Convention, Supreme Knight Carl Anderson will deliver his annual report, an overview of the operations of the Knights of Columbus, which once again set records in charitable activity. In 2008, the Catholic fraternal Order, which has 1.78 million members, donated more than $150 million to charitable causes, and members volunteered more than 68 million hours of their time to help those in need. Impressive numbers that underscore the Gospel words, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

At the close of the convention on August 6 (Thursday), the Marian Congress will begin three days of spiritual and scholarly study of the greatest religious event ever to occur on American soil – the appearance of Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego in 1531. The event occurred in what is now Mexico City, and was the catalyst for the conversion of millions of people throughout the New World to Christianity. You will not want to miss the coverage of this event, which you will be able to find on the Knights of Columbus website (www.kofc.org).

The Marian Congress will close on Saturday (August 8) with the Guadalupe Festival, a multicultural afternoon of song, prayer, dancing and witness talks.

The message of these days is that the Blessed Mother, under the title of Our Lady of Guadalupe, wishes to bring all people of America (and the world) under the mantle of her motherly protection, as she leads them to her Son, Jesus Christ, true God and true man.

Visit www.kofc.org often throughout the week for daily updates on the proceedings of these historic days.