Fathers For Good

"If You Build It ...

... they will come," was the popular catch line of the 1989 movie "Field of Dreams," definitely a men's movie about a fantasy baseball game with the ghosts of great players.

A similar catch line could be used for Catholic men's spirituality conferences: "If You Hold It, They Will Come!"

This was especially evident at the conference held by the Archdiocese of Newark (NJ), where some 2,200 men gathered for an all-day conference, about 1,800 for the English program and 400 for the Spanish program in an adjacent hall.

Many joked that the conference was "cool" since it was held in a skating arena, with the ice still frozen below the removable rubber flooring!

The speakers certainly warmed things up, though, getting down to some very basic issues concerning God and men in the Church today:

1) a talk by Deacon Ralph Poyo on purity and the effect of pornography on the lives of men, how it prevents them from becoming spiritual leaders in their families and parishes, and how it can wreck their marriages and their relationships with their children.

2) a talk by Dr. Philip Mango, a Catholic psychotherapist, on the deep-seated desire of boys and girls to be loved and affirmed by their father; it is a need that does not go away, and if the need is not met because a father is distant or absent, the child will suffer a deprivation into adulthood and could have personality conflicts.

3) former NFL star receiver Danny Abramowicz told a deeply personal story about his battle with alcoholism and his return to faith, and he issued a strong challenge for men to surrender their lives to Jesus, who is the true model of Catholic manhood.

4) Archbishop John Myers offered the closing Mass and homily. When he was Bishop of Peoria (Ill.) in 1997 he wrote a pastoral letter on men and fatherhood that was reprinted for this conference. It is a great document that everyone should look over, especially the last part where Archbishop Myers offers a point-by-point practical guide on how to live out your manly role in Church and society. You can read it here.

I have brought the Fathers for Good display to four men's conferences, and what a gift it has been to hear the inspiring speakers and meet the men of the parishes who make the time to come and learn and worship together. More and more dioceses are holding these men's conferences and only good things can come of it. This is definitely a movement from God, and God will bless all those who take part.

Man Your Battle Stations

The Gateway to the West became a gateway to heaven this past weekend, as more than 1,100 men gathered in downtown St. Louis for the 2nd annual Catholic Men for Christ Conference. Held March 21st at America's Convention Center, adjacent to the Rams' indoor football stadium and a few blocks from the great Arch along the Mississippi River, the conference was a study in male spirituality.

The theme was "Be Not Afraid," and the tone was strong, straight and upbeat. Don't let politics, the economy or job loss get you down -- Christ has already conquered the world; trust in him alone. Most of all, don't let sin block your way to heaven. Go to Confession. GO TO CONFESSION! If you do nothing else, if you remember nothing else from this conference, go to confession.

Speaker after speaker made the point, and there were priests from all over the St. Louis Archdiocese tending the long lines of penitents. It was beautiful to see the renewal of this sacrament in so many lives.

The speakers were vocal and physical, strutting the stage, pointing their fingers, dropping to their knees to pray, opening their hearts with stories of pain, sinfulness, betrayal, reconciliation and redemption. The tone was a bit overwhelming at times, but it was real, and it was definitely for men. If someone walked in off the street, he might have thought it was an evangelical revival -- except for the constant reference to the Real Presence in the holy Eucharist, confession to a priest, the Blessed Mother and the Rosary. It was traditional, orthodox Catholicism like you've rarely seen before.

We've had enough of wimpy Catholicism, the speakers said. It's time for men to wake up and regain the spiritual headship of their families. Men have abandoned their battle stations and Satan has routed their families.

Fathers for Good had a display, alongside the Missouri State Knights of Columbus Council. We gave out flyers and information on the fatherhood program and the Order, and signed up a number of men for the Knights, some who had let their membership lapse and others who had never before been asked to join.

Men's conferences such as this one are spreading throughout the nation. Men are hungry for the true faith, one that is challenging as well as charitable and compassionate. Woven into the hard as nails message was a call to love -- love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself. Love your wife as Christ loved the Church, sacrificing your very life for her. Love your children, and tell them you love them.

"This will kill some of you guys," said one priest who spoke. "This will make you die inside and take every ounce of courage you have." He ordered the men that very night to write a letter to their wife and children, telling them "I love you."

Real men say "I love you."

Many thanks to the Archdiocese of St. Louis and its Office of the New Evangelization for hosting this conference and for making Fathers for Good an important part of it.

My Wild Irish Story

Put aside your James Joyce for a minute and listen to this St. Patrick's Day story, which is absolutely true.

About 20 years ago, I took my first trip back to the land where my grandparents were born, and met a lot of Caulfields as I walked the green hills of County Monaghan.

My cousin Bernadette met me at the door of her well-swept house, and the children lined up by age, one with fairer skin and redder cheeks than the other. Right before me I saw the strength of genes expressed across generations, and I knew I was of the clan -- with my map-of-Ireland face, cleft in chin and oft-sunburned skin.

"Are you the Yank from America?" a young one asked, as her mother nudged her to silence.

Into the car we jumped, to take a ride to the "other side", across the border of the North, where "the troubles" lodged. After viewing miles of flawless natural beauty, and passing through a rainy shower or two, we came to a check-point. Out there in the sweet-smelling green that had inspired the souls of saints and poets, a young British soldier walked toward our car, with rifle ready, to check the trunk and question my cousin.

"Don't say a word," my cousin warned me, as I fingered my U.S. passport.

Satisfied, the nervous young officer walked away and lifted the barrier for us to cross from Carrickmacross to Crossmaglenn, two sides of the divided life that marks Ireland to this day.

"See that bunker over there," my cousin was careful to point with her eyes and not her finger. "There are sharpshooters hidden there with their guns trained on us."

The Yank gulped and drew a breath.

That was my introduction to "the troubles." Later I met an extreme version of an Irish wake.

A cousin in Dundalk invited me to the "football game," which we call rugby here. We met at the Harp brewery parking lot to board the school bus headed for the game in Cavan. The bus was filled with young men and old, and a stand-in for the Barry Fitzgerald character from "The Quiet Man," complete with black blazer and derby hat.

We rumbled along the rugged road, again passing in and out of rainstorms. "If it's not raining now, be patient -- it will be soon!" Barry Fitzgerald shouted to me over the clamorous engine. Each small town had a sign, "Go Monaghan!" -- which changed to "Go Cavan!" as we crossed the county line.

Suddenly, up ahead, there was a block of cars parked in the road. We looked across the field and saw a small stone church and adjoining graveyard, where a group of Sunday-best men and women stood by a casket, waiting for the priest to begin the funeral.

To my surprise, the bus driver honked his horn and the riders shouted out the windows, "Move your cars; we've got to get to the football game!"

A bunch of men ran from the graveyard to their cars, raising their voices, "Go to it, Monaghan. Give 'em hell!"

These men of Ireland, I thought, take their Gospel seriously: Let the dead bury their own dead.

I forget who won the game, but there was plenty of action for one full hour. No time outs; the injured were dragged off as the game went on. I was told the short, spunky guy with a nose for the ball was a Caulfield and another one of my many Irish cousins. I started to cheer, "Go Monaghan!" I was one of the boys at last.

Defending Religious Freedom

Under dark, drizzly skies some 5,000 Connecticut citizens assembled at the gold-domed Hartford Capitol building to petition their lawmakers. At issue was a proposed bill that would radically restructure the Catholic Church by stripping bishops and pastors of their financial and administrative oversight of parishes.

Although Raised Bill #1098 had been tabled by the Legislature’s judiciary committee and the scheduled hearing canceled for this day, Catholics came in large numbers to the Capitol for an impromptu rally, taking chartered buses from their parishes and driving in droves. They knew that their e-mails, letters and phone calls flooding the Legislature over the past few days had stopped the bill in its tracks and caused the judiciary committee to table the measure rather than face the outrage and legal logic of their constituents.

Wearing red "Religious Freedom" stickers and "In Solidarity with Our Bishops and Priests" buttons (supplied by the Knights of Columbus), the people stood outside the classical stone building and chanted as speakers paused, "Leave our Church alone!" and "We vote, we vote!"

It was a strong display of democracy in action, a melting pot of people from all ethnic backgrounds and economic strata that is the face of the Catholic Church today.

Thanks to talk radio, Fox News and a few other media outlets, it had become a national issue that concerned people of all religious affiliations.

The three bishops of Connecticut were there as well as leading lay men and women, who spoke of the bold attack on the First Amendment and the Catholic Church.

Archbishop Mansell said that the bill had embarrassed not only those who proposed it, but also the whole state of Connecticut which appeared like a bigoted enclave among the 50 states united under the Constitution. Bishop William Lori pointed out that despite some rare lapses, the Catholic Church in the state had implemented model financial controls, in contrast to the state Legislature which is running a huge deficit and has yet to pass a budget for the year.

Carl Anderson, Supreme Knight of the Knights of Columbus, which was founded and maintains headquarters in New Haven, said that the First Amendment was being shredded in the Constitution State. The history of anti-Catholic sentiment and laws is long, and the push to put laypersons in charge of parishes was a popular ploy to destroy the Church by the Know-Nothings of 150 years ago, he pointed out.

It was a privilege to stand among the thousands of ordinary citizens who gathered to protect the sacred and apostolic nature of the Church they love, and to defend freedom of religion and worship against one of the most blatantly unconstitutional bills to come along in a long while.

My wife, who was born in the Philippines and became a U.S. citizen five years ago, was there with me and our two young boys. She was a college student in Manila when the People Power movement deposed the dictatorial President Ferdinand Marcos; she marched in the streets and served as a poll watcher in the new election. She knows the value of democracy and the great power the people, indeed, can have when they work peacefully together.

We brought our children for a lesson in civic responsibility, hoping that they will see the greatness of this nation of one people under God – with religious liberty for all.

See the Knights of Columbus outstanding coverage of this issue at www.kofc.org.

An Attack on Our Religion

When I first read an e-mail alert about an anti-Catholic bill in the Connecticut legislature, I honestly thought it was one of those internet hoaxes. But it wasn't.

The judicial committee of the state legislature actually put forth a bill on Thursday (March 5) that would require each Catholic parish to elect a board "of not less than seven nor more than 13" lay persons to oversee the financial operations of the parish, with the pastor and local bishop having little or no say.

There is one little obstacle to the bill -- the First Amendment's free exercise clause. There are special protections for the free exercise of religion, though in recent decades we perhaps have forgotten this:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." 

Evidently the bill was drafted without one bit of consultation with the four diocesan bishops of Connecticut, which includes the Archdiocese of Hartford, the dioceses of Bridgeport and Norwich, and the Eastern-rite Ukrainian Eparchy of Stamford. The bill has been fast-tracked, with a hearing scheduled for Wednesday, March 11!

One state legislator said the bill may have something "diabolical" about it.

The bishops rightly observe that the bill is an attack on the apostolic and hierarchical structure of the Catholic Church. Many parishes do have lay boards to help administer and invest the finances -- but the state legislature has absolutely no right to require the formation of a lay board and moreover cannot dictate the number of board members while excluding the pastor and bishop from decision-making roles. 

The bishops, priests and laypeople of Connecticut have shown themselves up to the task of opposing this violation of religion. A letter was read at all Masses on Sunday and the people in the pews were outraged, many of them hearing of this bill for the first time.

Sometimes we need a wake-up call, and this is it. Even if you're not from Connecticut, you need to inform yourselves about this bill, because it could happen where you live.

Urgent: Read Archbishop Henry Mansell's letter on the Archdiocese of Hartford's website.

The Knights of Columbus is also opposing the bill.

Uplift for Lent

How is your Lent going, one week in?

 

If you’re like most of us, you need a little boost. The ashes have long washed off, the daily grind of duties begins to take over, and maybe you’ve forgotten exactly what you resolved to do or not to do this Lent.

 

At least, the spirit and fervor of your resolution may be flagging.

 

Take heart, and read through some of the Lenten resolutions that have been submitted to the Fathers for Good website. You will be encouraged, uplifted and brought back to the true meaning and spirit of these 40 days leading to Easter.

 

The resolutions, most of them from Knights of Columbus, range from the simple “Give up candy” to a more detailed schedule of prayer and penance worthy of a cloistered monk. But each one is inspiring in its own way.

 

Jim S. highlights an economic sign of the times when he writes that he will “try not to give in to despair while job-searching.” He should be helped by his other two resolutions:  “spend 30 minutes in prayer and Bible reading each day, using the Church's Lenten guides ... try to reconcile with my parents before Easter.”

 

The temptations of our technology also play into many resolutions. Some have resolved to give up checking their Facebook account during Lent. Rob K. writes, “I am cutting out the extra-curricular time I spend on the internet as well as the movies I watch.”

 

Others take the familiar practice of giving up sweets and raise it to a supernatural purpose. A perfect example is Chris D., and his moving resolution:

 

“My grandmother passed away about a month ago and she LOVED ice cream, but she gave it for Lent every year. To honor her sacrifice my wife, kids, and I (kids 7 & 8) are all giving up ice cream for Lent. I am also going to pray with my wife each night.”

 

Others are observing Lent as a form of thanksgiving to God for great favors received. Ken C. explains, “As a recent recipient of a life-saving lung transplant at age 54, I have a Lenten resolution to look for one person each day during Lent, to help in some small way or at least give them a positive comment about them personally.

 

“This will allow me to make some small pay-back for the gift I have been given and also allow me, in private, to give thanks to God.”

 

One Fourth Degree Knight summed up the Lenten spirit nicely by reporting on a homily:

 

“I heard this from a priest at Mass this morning and I thought that it was something worthwhile doing. GIVING UP A SIN each day for 40 days; better than chocolate or some goody! If this is the case, might not have anything to confess before EASTER.”

 

A lofty goal, worthy of God’s grace!